Am I a bad person?

Hey readers!

I am very sad today as I just found out, a cat that was very cute, pampered and lovable.. died. Worse thing, in front of my house.

(He look similar to this google photo that I found)

The story goes like, not so long a go, he came to my house asking for some food. At first, like a normal stray cat, he was so afraid to come to me even tho I put a food in front of the door and calling him towards me. Until the very moment I close my house grill door, then he will came and ate the food. After a few times feeding him, he become so pampered and I even allowed him to come into my house for a nap. Till one day, he never come back for quite a long time, a month or so? I was worried if something ever happened to him.

Day passed by and finally, he came back home. But... not in the good condition like he used to be. He was injured all over his face and he caught flu. I thought it was not so serious cause stray cats fights and usually, cat that caught flu will recovered from it without any medicine needed. He came and I gave him food to eat but even he was fed with food, he lose weight! I knew that day, something must go wrong somewhere. Then I thought to myself that I would bring him to Veterinary. Due to my working hour and time constrains, I am unable to bring him to Vet.

Now, I feel so sad and at the same time I feel guilty for not taking him to Vet. Am I a bad person to begin with? Why can't I sacrifice a bit of my time to send him to Vet? I feel terrible. It was so shocked yesterday that my eyes went crystallized by tears.

I'm so sorry. I know that I can't say that I'm sorry now cause it is already to late for it. But, I still wanna tell you I'm sorry for not taking you out to Vet. I am a terrible person. No wonder people choose not to be close to me. I don't know why, but I don't think I can forgive myself for this.

I love cat just as much as they are a person and, not just a person, a family.

Merah, may you have peace in heaven. Again, I'm sorry.